Trying to kick the “Black Dog” in the guts

Depression. Burn out. Overwhelm..

Take care as it is known as, the Black Dog and it sometimes lurks around too close to the farm house!

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These days work has no let us for us. Times are tougher than ever. In our business with the work we do we can be waiting to receive payment on a rebuilt engine that we have been waiting for that is hitting 60 days out! I am then in the same week pulling every cent to pay all of our employees wages for the week. Aswell the overdraft could be over ITS limit. Definately is no balancing act it really is a juggle.

Our tight walk we travel on is like fishing line and the see saw we ride is HUGE!

Lately in our house we have had some very emotionally draining times. Trying to refinance which is now on hold, moving into a bigger shed but needing to refinance before we can buy it. Long hours have been done. More work with small times frames and pressure is mounting everywhere. Tempers are short, patience shorter.

My husband had a day last week through all this where he lost hope. He lost the light he was heading towards. He was down on life and down on the world. We have large shoulders and support each other well but most times I know him better than he even knows himself. This one even snuck up on me.

Wanting to close the business doors. Wanting to push the timezap button that transports you to “trouble free land”. He snapped at us. He sat outside in his thoughts. He had hit exhaustion mixed with frustration with despair. Sometimes when he gets like this he will share his thoughts with a drink. Not this time, This was just him…

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I left him be. We didnt talk much..

In the morning I asked him if he was OK?
Yeah I’m fine…. Mmmmmm… Even I fool myself saying that line out loud I thought!
I reminded him this as he put his boots on at the door..
Just keep an eye out incase that Black dog is around!
Oh yeah he’s around,  he told me.. He’s snapping at my heels. I am just trying to kick him in the guts and move him on..
We both smiled knowing we had each other and that we both got it.

Men struggle with feelings, emotions and even depression more than we realise. Be aware of the men in your life who live in this pressure bubble. Let them know your arms are there to hug them with and that your voice is there to comfort them. Often in Manland pride, self image and expectations stand in their way.

On Sunday all he wanted was his entire family around him for lunch and what a great lunch we had. No body was any the wiser yet it was just what his soul needed. To have all the people around him who love and care for him.

Is there a man in your life who would love you to ask R U OK? Make sure that black dog isn’t around your yard.. Or if it is make sure you have help and support to help lock it out..

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8 thoughts on “Trying to kick the “Black Dog” in the guts

  1. Big hugs hon – the pressures associated with making a living can be huge – my husband has had his own moments in recent years and sometimes it takes a lot to finally talk about it.

  2. Oh wow. I felt that every emotion then…and I am glad that your husband has you along side him. I was taken back to almost 16 years ago when similar events were occurring in our lives. Thankfully with business closure (it was in our circumstances best we could do) and having teaching qualifications to use in a workforce, the immediate threats were diminished. However, depression did not leave. Treatment, support and helpful people surrounding us are what we need. You are vulnerable aren’t you, as you are HIS support. I’m asking you to know I am here asking…
    R U OK?
    I’m Denyse and I’m part of #TeamIBOT from Jess. Please pop over to my blog anytime too. Always there for a chat. X

  3. I left a long comment, then because I hadn’t logged in…it didn’t appear.
    I am here from Jess as a member of #TeamIBOT. I wanted to tell you that this story is a familiar one to me, as we have been through similar trials. Your husband is lucky to have you watching out or him….and I know that you are aware of the triggers..It is tough in this world of balancing biz, so all kudos for you too. I want to know though, R U OK? Pop over to my blog anytime for a chat as well. Denyse

    • Thanks Denyse, I have different issues that give me anxiety.. So between us some times I giggle.. But we are under a bunch of stress and pressure. Finance is always tight and now time to tighten even more.. Maybe I need to buy lotto tickets..
      Thanks for asking if I am alright I have great support as well and know the right arms that I can collapse into when I am not. My sister is a huge pillar of strength and help.
      By the way.. Thanks to Gemma I know exactly who you are. Glad you are on Team Jess xo

  4. Great post. My husband is struggling, I feel, but he will not contemplate having depression. He’s very anti and I worry so much.

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