Depression. Burn out. Overwhelm..
Take care as it is known as, the Black Dog and it sometimes lurks around too close to the farm house!
These days work has no let us for us. Times are tougher than ever. In our business with the work we do we can be waiting to receive payment on a rebuilt engine that we have been waiting for that is hitting 60 days out! I am then in the same week pulling every cent to pay all of our employees wages for the week. Aswell the overdraft could be over ITS limit. Definately is no balancing act it really is a juggle.
Our tight walk we travel on is like fishing line and the see saw we ride is HUGE!
Lately in our house we have had some very emotionally draining times. Trying to refinance which is now on hold, moving into a bigger shed but needing to refinance before we can buy it. Long hours have been done. More work with small times frames and pressure is mounting everywhere. Tempers are short, patience shorter.
My husband had a day last week through all this where he lost hope. He lost the light he was heading towards. He was down on life and down on the world. We have large shoulders and support each other well but most times I know him better than he even knows himself. This one even snuck up on me.
Wanting to close the business doors. Wanting to push the timezap button that transports you to “trouble free land”. He snapped at us. He sat outside in his thoughts. He had hit exhaustion mixed with frustration with despair. Sometimes when he gets like this he will share his thoughts with a drink. Not this time, This was just him…
I left him be. We didnt talk much..
In the morning I asked him if he was OK?
Yeah I’m fine…. Mmmmmm… Even I fool myself saying that line out loud I thought!
I reminded him this as he put his boots on at the door..
Just keep an eye out incase that Black dog is around!
Oh yeah he’s around, he told me.. He’s snapping at my heels. I am just trying to kick him in the guts and move him on..
We both smiled knowing we had each other and that we both got it.
Men struggle with feelings, emotions and even depression more than we realise. Be aware of the men in your life who live in this pressure bubble. Let them know your arms are there to hug them with and that your voice is there to comfort them. Often in Manland pride, self image and expectations stand in their way.
On Sunday all he wanted was his entire family around him for lunch and what a great lunch we had. No body was any the wiser yet it was just what his soul needed. To have all the people around him who love and care for him.
Is there a man in your life who would love you to ask R U OK? Make sure that black dog isn’t around your yard.. Or if it is make sure you have help and support to help lock it out..