For some reason the therapy in writting seems to settle the lump in my throat & the turmoil of the last week. As I sit here on my kitchen floor (in my favorite place) I type this after just speaking to the vets with tears streaming down my face & writting this to my old junior….
“Please give her a pat from me & tell her good girl Bailey Bailey…”
My trade is a Vet Nurse.. I lived it & breathed it. I was practice manager & traught it. I worked in the industry for 12 yrs pre kids.. So I was a little insightful & fully supported on the event that unravelled..
Here goes.. Last Tuesday we noticed our 5 yr old who was born on our back deck with our entire family excitedly watching, had finished her run and started limping. If you know our crazy dogs, a run is a rough & tumble event. For Bailey more so anything can happen.
She has been lost in central queensland for days. Stayed weeks on a cattle station. She has had a very full life in & out of the back of the Toyota.. Travelling in the tinny. Sleeping on the swag.
For her to limp was not thought of twice.
The next day her leg was huge.. Blown up to the size of a balloon.. All the way up to her groin. Lymph infection big time. Off to the vets we went. She went in & stayed for surgery. The great part in that clinic is that I have known all 4 senior vets who saw her for over 20 yrs & between them is around 100 yrs of knowledge that I trust entirely.
As it was, something bad was starting. She had punctured the webbing between her toes & had infected the joint & bone on 2 toes. This dog is 1 tough cookie… So as to the orginial occurance mmm may of been days earlier without her showing us.
She was sent home with mountains of tablets & her foot heavily banaged & 2 toes gone.
Within 2 days I was not happy with her lack of eatting.. She was not real bright with her moving.. Drinking funny.. & a bit frowny..
I called the vet & suggested the thought of tetanus. Some vet nurses can go their entire career with out seeing a case.. We have had another dog personally with it when we got him as a puppy.. The vet was not sure of my suggestion..
Once we got her to the vets my diagnosis was right..
Treatment began & you expect over the next few days for her to start to respond. She was getting progressively worse.
This morning I got the call you hate.
Is this Michelle?
Its Rob from the vet.
I heard my breath gasp & my words say… Has she died.. As tears rolled down my cheeks..
No.. But she is extremely sick.
Now right wrong or otherwise please remember with compassion & empathy this is my shoes & my story.
After hanging up from the vet I had the following to consider. Our dog had a very fast moving infection that had 4 vets scratching their heads. The infection in her toes where it had been removed to healthy flesh was now severally infected with more amputations needing to happen. Her tetanus was very extreme & her body was not responding to any treatment to either.
At the moment we are juggling our budget & refinancing with business opportunities at work. Having spent near $1000 in 1 week we are not in the position to keep treatment going with very low prognosis.
I then had the thoughts about right to life. Who was I to make this choice. Fairness to our animal.. Our pet who I was not prepared in any way to have suffer a painful extreme death. Arghhhhhhh anxiety to the max..
So I told the kids she was very sick & that if they wanted they could go & say goodbye. It was their pet. Pets dont just disappear. Death is real & they knew she was sick. They wanted too see her. It was the worst car trip of my life. The questions & the wails.. Before we went I asked if they wanted to take her anything.. They both wanted to write her a letter.. So the pictures were drawn.
She knew us, although due to the tetanus she could not open her eyes. She wagged her tail at our voices. We hugged her. We kissed her. We cried & said good bye. Leaving on the slightest hope that a miracle may happen.
This afternoon after even more treatment was given to her she was heading down hill fast. It was recommended that it was time for her to go..
I hung up the phone sent my message to Bailey Bailey. We sat holding hands and each said something to Bailey. I didng have to be there. She was heavily sedated & we had said good bye thid morning.
So as I sit here thinking how sometimes dogs are soooo much more reliable than men.. I thank Bailey for being part of our family. Thanks for being a friend to me. A companion to DH. A mate to grandad & a best girl to the kids.
Uncondition love is truely an amazing experience.
We will miss you Bailey Bailey!!