Anxiety never gives you warning.
Anxiety doesnt reason with things.
Anxiety sometimes doesnt make sense.
It is scarey.
It is lonely.
It freaks you out beyond your greatest fears.
We fight it.
We resist it.
We hide it.
One of the worst feelings when dealing with anxiety is the Fake Heart Attack feeling that it gives you. Making your soul feel unsettled. Feeling every ka thump of your racing heart. Feeling tight and squashed in your tight chest.
Once caught in this feeling we then believe that thought that these feelings maybe a heart attack… Just maybe! ! The more we think this the more our anxiety is fuelled and our levels rise. Getting us more stirred up. Checking our pulse. Not taking deep long breaths but shallow breaths that keep us on edge.
When in this moment it is so hard to turn this off or get over it.. If you could flick a switch you would.. The I am sooo not normal thoughts start and the I am dying thoughts kick in. Any one with extreme anxiety would of like myself found them selves in an emergency room, ambulance or 24hr centre thinking this is the end with exactly these feelings some time in their life.
While away in Port Douglas I woke one night from being sound asleep to these exact feelings. We were all in the same resort room. I have felt this overwhelming feeling so many times and really lost control. I was sweating & could feel my heart working over time. I got myself a cold face cloth and laid on the floor with my feet up on the bed. I had crazy thoughts about calling an ambulance. How would they make it to our room?
Then I thought I could be absorbed by this or get past it…
As I laid in the dark I really felt these feelings. These feelings are so familiar to me. Always the sneaking doubt that they could be a heart attack… For the first time I didnt fight it & allow it to fight back. Instead I encouraged it to get as big & as full on as it wanted too… I allowed it take control.
In the past I have tried to fight anxiety & it fights back bigger. It took courage to decide to let this get as big as it wanted to. In some reverse way.. Allowing it to have power took away its power..
While doing this I pulled out my phone.. Plugged in my ear plugs & listened to a relax from the meditationoasis.com playlist. I thought about my breathing. 1 hr later I was feeling tired… Hopped back into bed and went back to sleep..
I had lived through this Fake Heart Attack without an ambulance or hospital visit.. Or with out being awake stressing about it till the sun came up.
Anxiety… One hard long battle.
Tonight as I write this I have my husband struggling with this exact calling the ambulance moment for him & I have also heard 2 strong friends are also battling this behind closed doors… It is more common than people realise.