Day 3 Freak out time but settling

This morning when waking and greeting Day 3 I took of my PJ’s to find SPOTS over my right thigh…aarrgghh Time to kick up the heart rate and fuel the thoughts of YET another medication reaction on its way. This was heart breaking as Pristiq is a new generation medication different to all others. Lexapro, Aropax those kind are all related this one is different. So I tried to remain calm & check out what the heck it was. I had a shower not trying to rub or annoy the spots, mind you I took a photo – infact maybe 5 & made sure I counted them incase it spread.

3 in the bed last night and I was the only one to wake with something like this – mmm of course…..???

I went to work and had a very shortened version of my day – checking in with my therapist. I told her that I needed to kick in the help of  meds to help of which she totally agreed. She reminded me to be kind to me and listen to how I speak to myself. mmmmm reality moment.

I am gracious of spirit in all kinds of areas in all kinds of directions. I have endless support and speak up passionately about things I believe in. But to my self…mmmm…. I never encourage, I dont give credit, I set the bar way way too high, I dont thank my self or be happy for myself – infact I would say I treat myself like a slave. I just expect things everything just will be done.. So time to look how I treat me.

This afternoon my mind is settled, not franttic, not rattled, I would say some what at ease.

It is Friday which is normally WINE DAY – but today it is Soda Water with lime on ice with a spring of mint.. refreshing & kind to the soul. Still extremely tired and feeling like I could just curl up and hibinate waking when I feel better – next season… so once again it will be early to bed. Sleep plays a big part in recovery but as we all know I cant just press pause on the kids or stuff them in a cupboard till I am ready. This is what makes some thing like this so very very hard for modern mums to work through and find the balance & yet put aside the Mummy Guilt..!!

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