Day 2 Worse before it gets better

After surviving day 1 I woke up day 2 knowing that this was the right choice that I had made. I really needed to ease up on my body to be able to get through this.

6 months ago I really would of never thought that it was possible to have such feelings or symptoms that I experience but after today, wow how it stops life.

This morning was school & kindy as normal & after having my husband & one of our workers on the road 8 hrs of the night as well as working, I spent time awake thinking of their safe instead of sleeping so we were on go slow. I have been learning to slow down. Not push myself and to take things moment by moment. So I was later to work than normal but not concerned especially being the owner… He he he

My work today was no more or less busy than any other day but I was mindful of my body & my new medication onboard. By noon I was feeling very unsettled. At 1 pm I had to leave.

With a racing heart, thumping chest & the sweats happening I drove carefully away from work. I was mindful of my breathing & actions. By the time I hit our suburb I went straight to the medical centre. Tingley arms & thinking THIS time it really was a heart attack.

I saw a dr straight away… Perfect timing – lunch time. The place was empty….my panic had everyones attention & they sprang into action.
Blood pressure – normal
Pulse – normal
They even did an ECG – mmmm normal
What I was experiencing today is normally a middle of the night thing. Where in the still of night these feelings seem huge!! But today in the middle of the day OVER the hum of daily life…. This had stepped up to a whole new level.

With this kind of medication like I said yesterday it makes your anxiety worse before it eases up on you. It could not get any worse than today. After calming down & regrouping with the medical staff I sat quietly before getting the kids. On with the strong facade as honestly it is easier to write about all this shit and for some one to choose to read it than to tell the story to someone. As everyday there is a story at the moment!

I have had to be very strong in my life growing up & know that I only had me to rely on at times. But I have never faced anything like this in my life. I do now know & get how it must turn dark for people & for them to feel like there is no way out. Or how they give up on them selves.

I am living the moments knowing that it all will turn soon. I cant wait for the feeling of thinking WOW how good did I feel today & WOW I didnt realise I left anxiety in the garden somewhere. Tonight I am tired & know that tomorrow I will be kind to me.  My body needs time to rest heal & adapt to its new success key to good health, I’ll only do half day of work instead & a check in with me.

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4 thoughts on “Day 2 Worse before it gets better

  1. I just want to Thankyou for sharing your journey with anxiety. I also have anxiety and it is crap! I have 3 young kids too, so am a mum like you. I’ve been on pristiq for about 4 months, I had a bad reaction to lexapro too. I don’t like taking it, but it is helping. It does NOT get rid of it completely but reduces it, which is better than nothing. I am trying to be slower and kinder to myself to, I have just stopped drinking coffee 3 weeks ago too, which was hard, but a naturopath told me to avoid caffeine. I also occasionally see a psychologist. Who has told me how to retrain my thoughts, not easy I can tell u. Such a slow road, but hopefully oneday I won’t have it! Thanks again for sharing, sometimes it feels like I’m the only one on earth that suffers from it

    • Cassie WOW I thought I was the only self sabotager to react to Lexapro… I was sooo scared to try pristiq. Today my soul is more settled but my chest is still feeling crushed no so much my heart. I only have 1 coffee a day and even then I never finish it all. So for me coffee is not a big thing. We juggle so much these day. Wife. Mother. Employer. Business owner. Friend. Daughter. All aspects demanding in their own ways & then LIFE comes alone & we are told to relax & enjoy it…. Aaarrrrggghhhhh!!! Nice to read your story & hope you travel close by when it gets rough. As I will for you.

  2. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
    I too an travelling the same road & having issues with the “right” medication!
    It’s so reassuring to know you’re not alone & the way you describe things is so spot on to how I feel.
    Thank you xx

    • Super hard road isnt it? I some times wonder if people are sick of what I am write or over hearing my story. But I think if my journey can help just 1 person it is worth it. This road is scarey. Lonely & sometimes has you doubting your sanity… So I am happy to put it out thete. Thanks for your comments & following. Hang in there.

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